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I sleep with my window open.

Finding all the warmth I need from my blankets,
I entertain the cold world,
I like the Security of a quilt,
I hide behind my sheets,
It's a cold, self-inflicted pain,

Ill-tempered air,
And idolized duvet,
Idiocy at it's best,

There's a reminder there,
Of a life that could be better,
I save myself, night after night,
With a refuge that wouldn't be needed,
If it weren't for my own doing,

I may be better off,
I knew it was possible,
But for some reason,
I chose the struggle,

Fighting for comfort,
Battling for a sleep uninterrupted,
By wind, element, rain and raging strata,

It's my own doing,
The destruction of the life I've been given,
The cold kept me human,
That's how I wanted it,

Pretending it was possible for me to exist,
With nothing but what I had bought for myself,

I choose to believe,
That life would be no better off,
If I were to just get up
and close the window;

That is my great misfortune.

jf. x

When We Grew Up.

When we grew up, I had hoped we wouldn't change like this.

Where once a field was bright green, joyous, and opportune, I now see a pointless space that reminds me of the scars we left, we left each other.

I had thought we'd still be there, in the lush green plane, still playing with each other.

When you fell in love, my heart sank.

When I went away, I looked for the friendship I always had with you.

Others, those who refused to change, are no better off; they are incomplete and alone.

They deny it happens, but they too lament the past.

Our Golden years ended too soon, but here are no seconds of regret.

All the time spent with you was not wasted, though it might be now.

We were journeying along our own paths.

I'm so glad I got to be apart of yours for the moments I was; I'm sad to see us part.

With so many places and corners, I pray that we meet again.

Maybe during transaction on an intersection, we'll remember what we once knew.

I thought I'd left you behind, but when I turned to find you, I saw your back.

We'd both gone in a different direction.

Can you blame me for trying?

jf. x